My Best Self

My best self always wears a red dress.
Red for the pinprick,red for remembrance.
My best self loves blood on her hands,
sees it as "material."
See how she writes it on the cave walls.

My best self makes every failure into art.
Her poetry makes homeless men go blind.
I've seen her single-handedly levitate whole audiences.
Even her pain is so pretty.

My best self lives so big.
I stay in the shadows, stay in the shadows
She is always in the center, raising hell and brimstone.
She has a book deal and a record deal and a movie deal
I have words like ashes in my mouth.

My best self runs so fast.
I am always running, always reaching
Always falling back.